'The damage is done': 2 "close friends" have a meltdown after their pet-sitter, who took care of their cat for a week for free, doesn't deep-clean their house before leaving, calling the cat-sitter ungrateful and ending their 5-year friendship

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jun 30, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

As cat owners ourselves, we understand that cat-sitting is a difficult job. An important job. We look for people that we trust, people who will understand our cat's needs, and we don't let just anyone take care of our cat. With that, we know that our cat-sitters are not us, and our cats might not trust our cat-sitters the same way that they do us, and that mistakes happen. And as long as these mistakes don't involve our cat getting hurt in any way, then they are forgiveable, and we thank (and pay) our cat-sitters the way that they deserve. 

Which is what makes this whole situation so crazy to us. Not only did this couple not pay this cat-sitter, because she is their "friend", but they also asked her to pet-sit for a week for them despite living six hours away, and then called the sitter ungrateful because she didn't deep clean their house before their return. How can people like this even exist?

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not cleaning my friends’ house after pet-sitting their cat for a week (for free)?"

    "[She] called me ungrateful, ended the friendship, and said I shouldn't even dare to justify my behavior"
    via Unsplash / reynanta wardana - reywa

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    A while ago, I helped out two close friends, Steven (a good friend and former coworker) and his girlfriend Clara. We worked together for about four years until I moved away 8 months ago, but we stayed in touch and I visited a few times. I also became good friends with Clara. They live in a rented house.
    via gondor482
  • 03
    Two months ago, they adopted a stray cat. They were absolutely over the moon! Since they'd never had a cat before and I've had cats all my life, they messaged me constantly with questions.
    via gondor482
  • 04
    They had a one-week vacation booked before adopting the cat. Clara asked if I could come stay in their home and take care of her. She said it was a big ask, but I was the only person she trusted. I have a flexible work situation, and they're good friends, so I agreed.
    via gondor482
  • 05
    I used 5 vacation days, traveled 6 hours to their city, and stayed 7 days. I took care of the cat, watered plants, and sent daily photo updates. Their fridge was fully stocked, I didn't spend anything.
    via gondor482
  • 06
    But the week was rough. I had relationship problems, tend to overthink, and the cat went into heat and meowed nonstop (they said they'd fix her before, but it didn't happen). With not much to do and the constant noise, I was really drained. Still, I got through it.
    via gondor482
  • 07
    On day 6, I sent Steven a voice message saying I was happy to be heading home and explained how I'd clean before leaving, but some mess would remain. He replied I shouldn't worry and they'd handle it all.
    via gondor482
  • 08
    I left the next day. Second 6 hour trip. Two hours after I got home, Steven called. Very polite, but clearly upset, he said they were shocked at how I left the place, and told me Clara could not stop crying. I was stunned. I told him I thought part of the "compensation” for my help was that I didn't need to leave the place spotless. He admitted he misunderstood my message and thought I planned to deep-clean. We ended the call politely and chalked it up to miscommunication.
    via gondor482
  • 09
    Here's what I left: 1. Empty bottles (refundable in my country) stacked on the table. 2. Trash that could rot was taken out; cardboard and other dry trash were left in one spot.
    via gondor482
  • 10
    3. Used towels and bedsheets in a pile near the bed. 4. Some rinsed dishes in the dishwasher, 3-4 items were rinsed but not loaded.
    via gondor482
  • 11
    No danger in reach for the cat. I've lived alone for 9 years and have always been considered tidy. But yes, I failed to consider their much higher cleaning standards. I apologized to Steven the next day for seeing only through my own lens.
    via gondor482
  • 12
    Clara, however, sent a very harsh message: she was deeply disappointed, called me ungrateful, ended the friendship, and said I shouldn't even dare to justify my behavior or apologize for anything. That message hit me hard. I lashed out in return, called her ungrateful, crazy, emotionally unstable. Childish, I know.
    via gondor482
  • 13
    Now Clara and I are done. Things with Steven are strained. The damage is done. But I still wonder: AITA for not leaving the house spotless after cat-sitting for free?
    via gondor482
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10523223296
    via Unsplash / Kenzo Cabronsito - kenbrosito

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We honestly cannot think of a more ridiculous situation than this one. You did so much for this couple. The fact that they didn't offer to pay you for all of this in the first place is insane, let alone complaining about mild cleanliness afterward. Some people are unbelievable. 

  • 15
    justanother1014 • 18h ago NTA. Send Steven a bill for your travel costs, unpaid work, 7 days of house sitting and travel time home. Be sure to say "deep cleaning not included." Yes, y'all should have communicated expectations better but Clara needs a reality check.
    via justanother1014
  • 16
    Appropriate_Sky_6571 • 18h ago Yes I'd do this. In what universe is free cat sitting means a free deep clean?! I pay my cat sitter really well. I get upset when she completely replaces the litter box or washes cups she uses because she doesn't need to. A cat sitter's job is to take care of the cat, not clean house
    via Appropriate_Sky_6571
  • 17
    NaomiKnows • 18h ago NTA you pet-sat for free, used vacation time, and traveled 12 hours round-trip leaving some laundry and recyclables isn't a betrayal, it's human. Clara's meltdown over a few dishes feels less about cleanliness and more about control.
    via NaomiKnows
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10523235328
    via Unsplash / elizabeth - frosted_vulpes_ferrilata

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • And we agree - you truly are better off without some people in your life. Specifically people who are perfectly willing to use you, don't give a heck about you, and then can't even say thank you when you go way out of your way to help them out. 

  • 19
    anditurnedaround • 18h ago NTA You did the a huge favor, not one I would have ever done. Check in a cat sure.... But not fly and stay somewhere. How are you ungrateful? I'm missing something.
    via anditurnedaround
  • 20
    Picking up After yourself would be nice( no dishes/trash) washing your bedding would have been polite, but not a relationship ender! After all you were doing them a really nice thing. I think they can throw sheets in the wash. Maybe you're better off without them.
    via anditurnedaround

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aww friendship cat friends cute pet sitter Cats
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